Tuesday, 4 December 2018

This Space Of Mine

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#MySpace

I know how shocked people are when they see updates or get notifications that I posted on this blog of mine!!!
It is my space and I'm simply not letting go :)
It could be so much more but I keep feeling I'm losing my anonymity by the second... thus...
I tread carefully! 
I will still vent and rant but it will be with wisdom.
There's so much to talk about and dissect yet I find myself writing in my head but never putting my thoughts on paper!!! I wonder why :)
It's a new month.

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

Asking for Help

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What is It about asking for help that gets us all jittery???
This Q is what I'm pondering on as I go home. Why do we find it difficult to ask for help from others talk more of accepting the said help. Is it cultural or is it just human nature?
Growing up, I know mother dearest always said not to accept anything from strangers and that just became the mantra. But that's even out of point(come to think of it)lol 
I'm talking about needing help, seeing someone(people) that can help and keeping quiet because you don't want them to think you can't cope without them or whatever excuse we conjure up from the recess of our vivid imaginations.
Or the simple example I'm about to give; A while back in winter, I was rushing for the train, I had about seven minutes to get to the train before the train moved so I decided to get a cup of latte to warm my insides(the cold was real).
On getting to my train with two bags in tow, I was finding it difficult to balance my bags and the coffee. I needed to add sugar and stir it.
There were two people sitting opposite and beside me and all I needed to have done was ask if either of them could hold my cup of coffee for me so that I can stow my bag away to have space to hold and drink my coffee...But I didn't!!! 
And it wasn't because of hygiene or anything related. I just acted on autopilot and clumsily did everything myself. Needless to say, i didn't exactly enjoy the coffee. In hindsight, I asked myself why the heck I didn't ask for help when it was out there.
And this train of thought led me to my question above about asking for help.Why???
Why do we shutdown and refuse to ask? Why do we refuse to let people that may be able to help us in?
 Surely...there's a deep reason why we all shun asking people for help. Is it a sign of weakness on our part? Is it pride?

PS: The coffee example is minor compared to other real life major examples.
Like having people you call close friends and not being able to ask them for help when you're in a financial situation for example.
Or needing an outlet because you're in an abusive marriage yet holding it all in... refusing to seek help.
Why do we do this to ourselves? #ThinkingOutLoud




Trust The Process

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Nothing happens by mistake. Not even your misjudgments and errors.
Life has a way of sorting itself out so trust your process and keep it moving.




Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Passing Off Harrasment As Discipline!!! #NaijaFactor

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At some point this madness has got to stop.
This harassment cloaked in discipline!
I'm back again to vent. Maybe I should change the name of this blog of mine to "NoLimit's Vent Corner" lol.
Great idea I just may do that.
Anyways I read about the FRSC(Federal Road Safety Corp) Commander who decided to take it upon himself to check the nails and hair of the staff and then proceeded to cut the hair of the female staff whose hair style wasn't at par with the FRSC standard.( Even typing this crap stinks to me.)
It brought back memories of how a teacher tried to do same to me in one of the military schools many moons ago.
On that faithful day I had come to school with my hair short, all blown out and well styled. I was truly feeling myself...didn't realise this female teacher wasn't particularly pleased with it.
She then called me to the staff room, requested for a scissors and then proceeded to cut my hair or should I say try. Because I went totally crazy. I mean stark raving bonkers on her!
Here I was, an almost 16 year old girl with this very much older woman who felt the need to exert her authority over me by cutting my hair in public glare.
Who made her my barber biko? How? From where to where? These were the thoughts running through my mind when I blatantly refused to allow this happen.
I was ready to die there! I was told I would be suspended if I didn't cooperate! Cooperate-fire. I was sent home and told to bring my parent!
Thankfully I wasn't and my hair was left alone.
Brings me back to present day, 100 Centuries later(#iKid) and we're still on this level of stupidity.
Should that be Commander Kumapayi's priority? Is that why he was given the position?
This is how they make mountains out of molehills and focus on what is completely and utterly irrelevant and useless.
I think it is about time we got our priorities straight in my beloved Naija.
I really want to say more but it's bedtime and I gotta sleep; I have an early day tomorrow.
But see below for link to the stupid gist:

https://guardian.ng/news/discipline-or-molestation-frsc-commander-cuts-female-staff-hair/?F

Monday, 2 January 2017

Crossover Yawa

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2016 was a good year. Dasall.
And I had to suck it in and wear my big girl pants and face my numerous fears... turns out they were all mirages! Funny how life works sometimes...okay maybe not funny lol.
Straight to my gist. My friend's boyfriend who in my opinion is a mistake not because he's a bad person but because he projects his worst fears on her and is limiting in nature... from what I understand about this thing called marriage, whatever you see right now will be magnified by 100 in marriage. The married folks can confirm that if they choose to.
Anyways, she tells me on new year day that her boyfriend is really upset with me, he felt disrespected because of what I said or how I said it, he has vowed not to ever talk to me again etc.
My face went blank... I was like shuo🙄🙄🙄, on top wetin exactly? what did I say that was bigger than mouth? Then I faced my friend and asked her directly if she thought I was actually disrespectful to him, she said she knows I wasn't and she's been trying to explain that to him but he wouldn't listen.
Now for those that don't know me, I am boisterous, outspoken, extremely direct and very full on!
I guess you can say I can threaten your confidence if you hardly have any. Oh let's not forget that when I'm passionate about something; a course or whatever, I can be downright aggressive(not exactly super-cool) but that is who I am and I own it like a bawse.
The truth is in my world, the only reason he exists(in my world) is because of my friend...at the end of the day, she's made her choice my opinion about him can easily be shoved where the sun don't shine!!!
So what did I do? I sent him a message through her letting him know that I will never knowingly disrespect him and I apologised(surprise!😳) for offending him.
I am growing and I know it. Now I'm off to learn to tone down my aggression😂😂😂!!!
Happy New Year.