Sunday, 18 October 2009

The Pressure To Impress

Sometimes it is had to not want to impress...personally speaking, I contend with the pressure to impress in various aspects of my life!!!
Especially with regards to family, the truth is whether you want to admit it or not, there are some people we seek validation and approval from in our lives. for instance, if a random human being tells me I will amount to nothing, I'll just look at the fellow in the eye and tel him he is chatting rubbish! but if a member of my nuclear family says the exact thing to me, I will take it on board and actually, think/wonder why a statement like that was made.
I reckon the reason we all seek approval is because we've been created to be relational beings and there are some people in our circle of relationship who's opinion we hold very dear.

Then there is the pressure to impress people like friends,neighbours etc. because we want to "keep up with the Joneses"...I personally think this is sheer stupidity especially when you're just keeping up the appearance...seriously what's the point? And yes yours truly has fallen into this evil web before...in retrospect, I definitely would have done things differently...I realise now that it is really not worth the trouble...

I know of another kind of pressure to impress and that is very rife in the country I come from...people are so shallow that they appraise you by the car you drive amongst other "tools" used to measure your standard/level or whatever you want to call it!!!
A friend once bought a stupidly expensive car just because he wanted "acceptance" from his business associates...when I asked him if it was worth the trouble, he said look this are people that measure your level of "seriousness" by what you wear...little wonder we have issues with almost everything and anything you can think of.
And yes we've all been the "judge" at some point or the other...at least I have...making snide remarks about people,their cars, houses and what have you! The simple truth is THIS OUGHT NOT TO BE!!!

*Okay I'm feeling sleepy now...but I'll still complete this post!*:-)

Well I'm happy to let you know that it is not so for me most of the time and the times it has happened, I redirect my brain and focus on what really matters...yes I outgrew this approval seeking mode when I discovered I only need One person's approval and if this One person approves of me, then every other individual will have to approve whether they like it or yes!!!
I didn't say it, He said it right here

As if that is not enough, someone said Debt/Stupidity(not sure now) is spending money you don't have to buy things you don't need to impress people you don't like!
So what's the point?

9 comments:

akaBagucci said...

refocusing on what really matters is the key i guess... but then sometimes isn't it relative.. or worse.. situational?

Bukenzo said...

A distant relative attended her friend's birthday party and changed her outfit 3 times plus shoes/bags and gold. A week later she came to see my mum to borrow children's school fees.

as far as am concerned this is as bad as a psychiatric condition

Myne Whitman said...

I like that definition of debt. It's a wonder people still get sucked in. But sometimes, appearances do matter sha, but one should be wise at all times.

simeone said...

wow...i totally feel you...i like the definition...
and like you said..on one person opinion really really matters..
i see ur vigil was very fruitful.. :)

Enkay said...

Truth is, it's not always clear cut.

And it's not only in Nigeria that people define you by the car you drive, the kind of house you live in etc

People need to be able to put you in some kind of 'social box', you know, put you in your place and I think they can't help themselves. It's human nature I guess.

The most important thing though is how you see yourself!

".....to thyself be true!"

lucidlilith said...

Preach!!! That's why i am still driving a 95 Lexus. Yes it is the crappiest car in the lot but I have no car payment. Make dem go siddon.

Good Naija Girl said...

All I can do is thank God that I was raised by parents who live humbly and always within their means and they have passed that idea on to me. I have a strong dislike of debt, even temporarily, so that helps to keep me from buying things I can't afford. In the end who we are matters more than what we have so when I start thinking that my life would be better if I had a car or a Coach bag, I try to remember that and focus on being a good person while working towards getting those material possessions (in time).

God is so good to us! All my needs are met and I can think about my wants.

Thanks for this post.

Writefreak said...

There's always the issue of people fitting into a particular social box...it happens everywhere...
Like Enkay though, i don't think the flashy cars thingy only applies in Naija..
You have to define your own limits within reasonable boundaries and stay within them!

Favoured Girl said...

OMG @ Bukenzo's comment! Talk about twisted priorities.