Friday, 8 August 2008

How to say no "nicely"

My people see me see something o!
Please how do you tell a guy NO and mean NO in a very nice way?
Seriously o! When it comes to guys and relationships…one thing I notice I lack is “TACT” as in I tell it as it is…I don’t care who’s ox is gored!
So for instance if a guy walks up to me and asks me out etc…once I’ve said no,
I expect the guy to step aside and let me be…and if he persists…kai…that is YAWA!
‘Cos I’ll give him his life history and even lecture him a bit about his future!
Well this has been the case till I became closer to my maker and I realised I needed to be relatively “civil” to people
If I want to lead by example…
So that’s where I’m at right now…I don’t want my faith to be questioned at all…but if this guy can’t understand the simple plain ole English I’m speaking to him…
Meeen I may have to resort to proper jungle language…unless I get a line that works from you guys...


Anonymous said...

I have always thought that being direct is the key. Then again, very few guys pursue me o!

I would look the guy in the eye and let them know that you're not interested, and you'd appreciate it if they keep stepping. The thing is to make sure that you're not actually playing hard to get: if you tell him you're not interested, don't be angry if he takes your word for it.

I always feel like if you communicate in a level tone that isn't rude, you can't go wrong. Sure, some guys might still be hurt by the rejection, but they can't fault your behaviour.

Writefreak said...

Being direct is key babe but don't get nasty or rude..before you say something nasty, take a deep breath, say a silent prayer and collect your thoughts, then say your No as firmly as possible, after that, you can give the silent treatment!

naijaleta said...

I will agree with the first two comments. There's no point being rude about it. I understand some guys dont like taking 'no' for an answer but you've got to be polite and firm.

OluwaDee said...

Saying No to guys is interpreted as something entirely different in their brains o.

Me I say it as it is n @ d same time ensure I do not insult d guy. But that said some guys beg 2 be insulted.

There was this guy on my case last year. I told him I was engaged oh; couldn't he see d repealer on my finger???
He refused 2 hear o, he was telling me I should try him mayb I'll change my mind.
I had 2 tell him that even if d devil wanted 2 tempt me, he wasn't good enough a candidate.
D guy still dint leave me oh.
He finally left me when I started wearing 2 rings (Oct 07)...
Alas d guy called 3 weeks ago, can u imagine!

Only God can deliver one 4rm such a man.

That said chase them away prayerfully, n ignore them 4 they r not worth ur time/words (thats xcept ur Adam o).

rethots said...

Naturally, civility is key but, thot no meant, 'a little while'?


hahaha, good luck to you. When I was single I tried everything. Even wore a fake engagement ring. If a guy is determined to not take 'no' for an answer, you can only do so much.

Well, I;ll come back to see what helpful suggestions you get from others. Good luck!

tobenna said...

Frankly, I dont know what can work for you oh.
Some of us feel that a girl's NO can change to YES in future.
And sometimes, it works that way. I know that.
So, don't push him off. Tell him that you can be friends and you see him as your brother.
Most men understand that when we are called 'brother' there will most likely be NO sexual experience for us. SIGH.