Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Loss - The pain and dealing with it.

Follow me @Nolimit2life

Was busy deliberating on what to have for dinner(super late dinner) when my phone started ringing off the hook... I decided whoever was on the other end will have to wait because this girl can't even have a meaningful conversation in her hungry state. Checked and saw it was one of my good friends; I sighed inwardly and thought what now? 
She calls me like 8 times in a day(I'm exaggerating) to tell me the most random things ever!lol. Anyways I called back and what she told me almost made me pass out. She had just lost a parent! I was in shock! The parent had just commented on my friend's facebook page a day before! How does this things happen? No warning, no signal ... nothing!!!
Don't know if it was the shock that made me tell her I was coming over that night...but I did and the minute I dropped the phone and checked the time, it was some minutes to midnight *sigh* I beat myself inwardly for making such a promise, I was knackered... but then I remembered how I felt when I lost my mother and that helped the adrenaline to kick in fast, so I went to see her! 
When I lost my mum, I just wanted to be out of my skin and take a long walk to neverland and wake up from the horror called my reality at that point in time. I was away from home and called the one friend I thought would be there for me. I just needed to talk to someone about neutral things, crack jokes with me and take my mind off my current situation but she wasn't there, not because she couldn't be(yes it may have been a bit of an inconvenience but dayumn! I would love to think I'm worth it like loreal!lol). Anyways I got through it, forgave my friend, even forgot the whole episode till this happened. So in a way I'm thankful because I know how it feels when you've just lost a loved one. I digress, so I went to my friend's, talked through the night with her, chatted about the most random stuff to take her mind off her current situation.
Sometimes, a crying shoulder is all that's needed and sometimes it is just someone that will be there to take your mind off the loss albeit temporarily but at least for that moment in time, your imagination isn't flying all over the place thinking of what could have been or what wasn't!
What I've also come to learn and understand about losing a loved one is that life has to go on. Understand this person has just closed his/her last chapter and is definitely in a better place and if the only way your heart can take it is to imagine they've journeyed to a far away place, then by all means go for it! 
Also know that people may bear with you and be compassionate for a period, but after a while, you're expected to pick yourself up, dust the cobwebs off and jump back into the boxing ring of life!
And don't let anybody fool you, the pain never leaves and time is not a healer in this case... in my opinion, Jesus is! time just helps to numb the pain and by so doing, you can live with it

No comments: